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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/6/2008 10:19:28 PM
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MC4JC
Posts: 201
Joined: 7/6/2008
From: Minnesota
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Sorry but I feel its wrong to even attend the reception. The reception is STILL the celebration of the "union" and its wrong. If you are against this union, why would you go to either one - either way its condoning the union you know is wrong.
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/6/2008 10:27:16 PM
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buckifn
Posts: 1760
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quote:
So your take on that verse would presumably mean she shouldn't be friends anyway with the guy
Isn't "friend" a connotation of a special bond? A closeness? An intimate fellowship?
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/6/2008 11:10:22 PM
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Cloak
Posts: 4573
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Canada
Status: online
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I was once confronted by a situation even worse off than yours Sunshine when I was going to a Church filled with gays of whom one lesbian couple (unmarried living-in) befriended me.
Being a prudent non-judgemental Christian, I welcomed their friendship with reserve till one day upon leaving the service she announced to me, while her girlfriend with whom she lives, announced to me proudly that she would get married next year And the pastor of that church (whom I heard was gay) would marry them. Then she handed me her business card so that we could keep in touch with one another.
Upon hearing her words, I wanted to flee and leave that whole church to which I did very shortly then.
If that lesbian woman who "claims" to be Christian invited me to her wedding, I would definitely NOT attend. I actually cut off relationships with her after that day even when once she called me, I apologized to her by reminding her that she was lesbian.
Going to gay weddings is nothing but Condoning sin, celebrating sin and actually applauding Sinful lifestyle and telling every one including the homosexuals that I admire you and I approve of your lifestyle.
While Jesus mixed with all sorts of sinners; He did NOT condone or Celebrate or applaud sin.
We are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
What does light have in common with darkness?
These are just a few biblical verses.
That is my Wise advice to you!
Blessings!
< Message edited by Cloak -- 8/7/2008 7:45:13 AM >
_____________________________
Blessings!
And My God shall meet ALL Your Needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 19)
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/6/2008 11:50:10 PM
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phosadaud
Posts: 10538
Joined: 9/19/2005
From: Washington State
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
I'm not talking about maintaining the friendship for one's own sake, but keeping the connection with them open for Christ's sake.
If the OP doesn't go, it will be very obvious why she didn't go. Not being able to go, and choosing not to go when one is perfectly able, are two very different things.
"I'm sorry. I won't be able to make it your ceremony. Let's get together sometime for coffee."
If someone gets in a huff over that, they aren't much of a friend.
Sorry, but this "let's walk on eggshells and never offend anyone" is for the birds. I grew up in a church like that and there was no love there. It was all about being liked not about loving even when it hurts.
_____________________________
~Kristin~
Resume Quotations: "Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/6/2008 11:59:13 PM
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smilingcutie
Posts: 42
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People make their own choices. If it was my friend, I would go. Even if it stood against everything I believe in, I would still go, because their friendship would still be important to me. Maybe I wouldn't agree with their choices, but they're not my choices to make.
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 12:22:45 AM
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SweetPea213
Posts: 61
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CheshireMuse
quote:
ORIGINAL: bluestone
It is like going to a Satanic ritual. Your very presence there speaks volumes. And gay unions are more of a threat these days that Satanic rituals.
A threat to what?
Christianity? Not hardly....
To the "sanctity" of marriage? Too late - heterosexuals have pretty much trashed the sanctity of marriage well before the homosexuals got their chance.... If you're really concerned with the sanctity of marriage, a good place to start is within the Christian community, since Christians have the highest divorce rate (and within that grouping, Southern Baptists rank #1) of any other group in the nation.
Look, I don't agree with homosexuality. I believe it is a sin, as the Bible says it is... however, saying that its a "threat" that will somehow bring down the American way of life, Christianity or marriage in general, is, well... (pardon me) sorta ridiculous.
Yes, homosexuality is a sin. So is lying, cheating, stealing, gossiping, drunkeness, slandering, back-biting..... Ironically, I've never seen anyone post a thread asking if they should boycott the wedding of a gossip (because, after all, by going to that wedding, you would be condoning the sin of gossiping)....
I was always taught that there were no degrees of sin. Each is as black and ugly as the next, regardless of our feelings on the matter. So, gossip is just as horrible as homosexuality... Lying is just as horrible as adultery... etc and so on...
"It is not animal sacrifices I want, but kindness." ~Jesus
You said everything I would have liked to have said, only better! To the OP: Just do your friend a favor and stay at home!
_____________________________
"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." ~ 1 Peter 2:24
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 5:30:33 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6015
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: phosadaud
"I'm sorry. I won't be able to make it your ceremony. Let's get together sometime for coffee."
"Won't be able" isn't true though.
quote:
If someone gets in a huff over that, they aren't much of a friend.
You know, to me it's not so much the risk of a "huff" but the strong positive effect that could be caused by someone who is opposed to the practice of homosexuality going to a gay union.
I was working in a day centre once, serving coffee etc, and a number of the guys were stood up near the serving hatch chatting to me or just milling around. One of these was a gay guy who I will call J. Anyway, another guy comes in (D) who I know as a Christian; he sees J, and he comes right up to him and starts on him verbally, telling him he is an abomination and so on. I stopped D in his tracks, reprimanded him for his inappropriate behaviour and sent him on his way. J turned to me and thanked me, tears in his eyes. He said "I know how you feel about my lifestyle, but thank you so much for what you did for me then." It was a real defining moment. I had no idea he'd be so moved by a simple act of someone standing up for him.
quote:
Sorry, but this "let's walk on eggshells and never offend anyone" is for the birds.
No-one has advocated this, certainly not me. Besides, the OP's friend already knows where she stands on the issue of homosexuality.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 5:32:15 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6015
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
quote:
So your take on that verse would presumably mean she shouldn't be friends anyway with the guy
Isn't "friend" a connotation of a special bond? A closeness? An intimate fellowship?
Whoa! We differ so fundamentally on this one, if you think Christians shouldn't be friends with non-Christians. But that's off topic for here so I think we should desist from posting further on this!
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 7:50:04 AM
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sunshinesoprano
Posts: 938
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From: Georgia
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Wow...had no idea this was going to stir up such a stew!
Few things to address.
Kuku:
You asked me if it were a heterosexual couple unequally yoked would I support it.
If I felt like it were a bad thing for my Christian friend, I'd definitely share my perspective in the most loving way. I've been through 3 horrible relationships with one of my friends, and I've said something each time. She always got out and was better for it.
The Bible never speaks of it being a sin for a man and a woman to marry. Unequally yoked marriages are a very bad thing, for all involved, because the goals aren't the same, the focus isn't the same, and clearly the Bible speaks against it.
This ceremony is taking place in Tennesse, so there is no legal benefit of it. It's simply a celebration of their relationship.
The sole purpose of it is to bless their union, which I cannot do any more than I could bless the union of a 50 year old man and a 10 year old
And to better understand my relationship with this guy, we became friends when we were 13. Were inseparable from 7th-12th grade. We talked on the phone almost every night. During college we emailed everyday, talked at least 2-3 times per week, and he came home on my birthday to take me to Red Lobster. People often thought we were together, though we never were. Came mighty close, but it didn't happen.
We've been through a LOT together, and I believe that he respects my beliefs as I respect his and we agree to disagree.
I've been a Christian witness to him our entire friendship. He would come hear me sing when he wouldn't step foot into a church otherwise. That's part of why my music ministry means so much to me.
I want to do the right thing lest this almost lifelong friendship be broken, but I also want to stand for what is right and good in the eyes of God without compromise.
_____________________________
Pure Heart-Fresh, Progressive Southern Gospel
Sing, laugh, love, PRAISE!
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 7:57:29 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6015
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sunshinesoprano
The sole purpose of it is to bless their union, which I cannot do any more than I could bless the union of a 50 year old man and a 10 year old
I don't want to get into it with you here, but I just want to say that it's highly offensive IMO to directly compare a homosexual relationship with a paedophile relationship. Two consenting adult men being together, even though they're wrong, no way compares to an adult and a child.
quote:
I've been a Christian witness to him our entire friendship. He would come hear me sing when he wouldn't step foot into a church otherwise. That's part of why my music ministry means so much to me.
I want to do the right thing lest this almost lifelong friendship be broken, but I also want to stand for what is right and good in the eyes of God without compromise.
Again, I put it to you - think about both scenarios (I can't, because I don't know what would be involved in a gay union in the USA, as I am in the UK), and imagine what is likely to happen as the outcome, and look at how God might or might not be glorified in each one.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 8:11:18 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6015
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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Just an afterthought:
You said in your OP:
quote:
I really dislike his "partner" because he's closed-minded, has intentionally put a distance between my friend and myself and our other friend. Just a lot of reasons. I'm not the only one who thinks this, either.
Sounds to me like his partner could be quite controlling and predatory - the sort to perhaps have overwhelmed your friend with attention, and then to have intentionally isolated him from others close to him. Do you suspect he has put distance between you and your friend by saying things to him about you, or is it in other ways?
If it was me, I'd also be thinking that if I didn't go to the "union", his partner would have "won".
I'm not saying that thought should take priority here, just that it would occur to me.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 9:49:09 AM
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buckifn
Posts: 1760
Joined: 5/23/2006
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If your desire is to stand for God without compromise sometimes that means standing alone.
Jesus said unless we are willing to forsake all and follow Him we cannot be a part of His kingdom..sometimes that all is friends choosing sin over righteousness. He also said friendship with the world is enmity with God.
Have you thought about what you would be celebrating? When the dancing happens, the toasts are made, the laughter and joy that are a part of a wedding celebration, at those points what will your thoughts be and what will God's be?
I think mine would be nausea. As a Christian I just can't see myself celebrating sin. Just a point for you to consider. Nobody can make such a decision for you.
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 10:01:43 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6015
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
Have you thought about what you would be celebrating? When the dancing happens, the toasts are made, the laughter and joy that are a part of a wedding celebration
I would have thought that those things would take place at the reception, not the union ceremony itself.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 10:04:00 AM
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CheshireMuse
Posts: 90
Joined: 8/23/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SweetPea213
quote:
ORIGINAL: CheshireMuse
quote:
ORIGINAL: bluestone
It is like going to a Satanic ritual. Your very presence there speaks volumes. And gay unions are more of a threat these days that Satanic rituals.
A threat to what?
Christianity? Not hardly....
To the "sanctity" of marriage? Too late - heterosexuals have pretty much trashed the sanctity of marriage well before the homosexuals got their chance.... If you're really concerned with the sanctity of marriage, a good place to start is within the Christian community, since Christians have the highest divorce rate (and within that grouping, Southern Baptists rank #1) of any other group in the nation.
Look, I don't agree with homosexuality. I believe it is a sin, as the Bible says it is... however, saying that its a "threat" that will somehow bring down the American way of life, Christianity or marriage in general, is, well... (pardon me) sorta ridiculous.
Yes, homosexuality is a sin. So is lying, cheating, stealing, gossiping, drunkeness, slandering, back-biting..... Ironically, I've never seen anyone post a thread asking if they should boycott the wedding of a gossip (because, after all, by going to that wedding, you would be condoning the sin of gossiping)....
I was always taught that there were no degrees of sin. Each is as black and ugly as the next, regardless of our feelings on the matter. So, gossip is just as horrible as homosexuality... Lying is just as horrible as adultery... etc and so on...
"It is not animal sacrifices I want, but kindness." ~Jesus
You said everything I would have liked to have said, only better! To the OP: Just do your friend a favor and stay at home!
:-)
_____________________________
Peace,
Muse
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 10:42:59 AM
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phosadaud
Posts: 10538
Joined: 9/19/2005
From: Washington State
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: phosadaud
"I'm sorry. I won't be able to make it your ceremony. Let's get together sometime for coffee."
"Won't be able" isn't true though.
 How would that be untrue? You won't be able to attend because your moral convictions are such that you cannot celebrate a homosexual marriage. You don't have to spell out the why everytime you turn down an invitation.
quote:
quote:
If someone gets in a huff over that, they aren't much of a friend.
You know, to me it's not so much the risk of a "huff" but the strong positive effect that could be caused by someone who is opposed to the practice of homosexuality going to a gay union.
What positive effect? "Hey - this person is against what I am doing, but they are going to pretend they are excited about it." Since when is lying a positive effect?
quote:
quote:
Sorry, but this "let's walk on eggshells and never offend anyone" is for the birds.
No-one has advocated this, certainly not me. Besides, the OP's friend already knows where she stands on the issue of homosexuality.
But you just said above you should go to the ceremony so as not to offend the couple?
I'm sorry, but there are many ways to show our love for folks. And we don't have to celebrate sin and "stand by someone" in entering into sin in order to do it. Again, my challenge stands: Provide me one single instance of Jesus or the Apostles or anyone godly in Scripture for that matter celebrating someone's sin and "standing by them" as they commit to sin, and I'll shut up.
And no matter what you want to call it, the SOLE purpose of a wedding ceremony (or union ceremony or whatever you call it) is to CELEBRATE the uniting of 2 people. Period.
_____________________________
~Kristin~
Resume Quotations: "Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 10:58:24 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6015
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: phosadaud
How would that be untrue? You won't be able to attend because your moral convictions are such that you cannot celebrate a homosexual marriage. You don't have to spell out the why everytime you turn down an invitation.
So, if that's the reason, why not be honest and say it, rather than hide behind vagaries?
quote:
What positive effect? "Hey - this person is against what I am doing, but they are going to pretend they are excited about it."
Who said anything about being "excited" about it?
quote:
Since when is lying a positive effect?
I did not advocate lying - please do not put words into my mouth (or my fingers!).
quote:
But you just said above you should go to the ceremony so as not to offend the couple?
Are you absolutely sure I said that? Perhaps you could find the post and show me?
quote:
Again, my challenge stands: Provide me one single instance of Jesus or the Apostles or anyone godly in Scripture for that matter celebrating someone's sin and "standing by them" as they commit to sin, and I'll shut up.
Can you provide me with an instance in Scripture where Jesus walked away from a sinner on moral principles?
quote:
And no matter what you want to call it, the SOLE purpose of a wedding ceremony (or union ceremony or whatever you call it) is to CELEBRATE the uniting of 2 people.
That may be why others are there, but it would not be why I was there. Just like when I went into a heroin den to visit some folks - they were there to shoot up, I was there to bring them food.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 11:07:40 AM
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GregandJenny
Posts: 617
Joined: 2/16/2006
From: Near Seattle Washington
Status: offline
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Manda, so If you were to go this particular ceremony, your purpose would be to support your friend? Is that correct?
_____________________________
It does not have to be well with my circumstance to be well with my soul!
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 11:19:40 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6015
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GregandJenny
Manda, so If you were to go this particular ceremony, your purpose would be to support your friend? Is that correct?
To personally support him yes. To stand by him personally even though I knew he had made (and was making) a wrong choice.
Providing he was in no doubt about my personal conviction, I'd go. I would not be at all comfortable being there, but would stand there quietly at the back and pray. Being me, I'd probably shed a few tears too, but would try to do so unobtrusively. I'd also make my excuses afterwards and leave quite sharpish.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 11:25:28 AM
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GregandJenny
Posts: 617
Joined: 2/16/2006
From: Near Seattle Washington
Status: offline
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quote:
To personally support him yes.
Manda, this is where I am confused. What exactly are you supporting?
_____________________________
It does not have to be well with my circumstance to be well with my soul!
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 11:31:13 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6015
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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Supporting him as a person.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/7/2008 11:32:45 AM
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doinkdom
Posts: 4252
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
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I bet you know exactly what to do, now that you've had 80 posts responding to your op. 
