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Help, part deux - 11/21/2008 7:40:26 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 4031
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Ok, this is not a continuation of the first Help thread that i posted in June. THis is not about the previous ex from 16 years ago. And this is probably the last "help" thread that I would ever post, as I'm running out of exes that would resurrect from the dead,  to profess their undying love for me, lol. This one is a tough one though, so, I really need all your help, esp from those that I shared the story privately.
As I was driving home today, I cried pretty much all the way home while thinking (daydreaming) about what if I had another conversation with this man. What would I say? This is the man that I can see "forever" with. HOwever, two months ago, something happened that clearly broke my heart to pieces and I wasn't clearly sure who's fault it was--his or mine. Pride got in the way, and we parted ways on a sour note.
All I've wanted was an apology, and his admitting that he made a mistake. I've prayed to God over and over again that I would give us another chance if he apologized. Well, I got home today finding two text messages from him saying he's sorry that he messed up (I don't always bring my cell phone with me...it's the hiker in me, lol). He sent the text to apologize. As I sit here typing this, I'm lost as to what to do. On one hand, I prayed about it. God knows what's in my heart. ANd I love this man desperately still. But on the other hand, I'm soooo scared to even talk to him. I 'm so scared to feel the pain I felt two months ago. I'm so scared of making a mistake. I'm so scared to get my hopes up again.
What would you guys do? Would you respond? MY head is spinning with questions that serves to scare me. I know I have some apologizing to do as well. I know that there's a lot of things I'd like to discuss with him. But I don't know if this is an open door that I should walk into again. Please help me see my way through this.
I'm praying and I'll spend the rest of the night in prayers.
< Message edited by Prairiehiker -- 11/21/2008 8:02:17 PM >
_____________________________
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me, and
Lead me in the way everlasting Psalm 139:22-24
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Go Steelers!!!
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RE: Help, part deux - 11/21/2008 8:37:27 PM
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Psalms274
Posts: 2867
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quote:
As I was driving home today, I cried pretty much all the way home while thinking (daydreaming) about what if I had another conversation with this man. What would I say? This is the man that I can see "forever" with. HOwever, two months ago, something happened that clearly broke my heart to pieces and I wasn't clearly sure who's fault it was--his or mine. Pride got in the way, and we parted ways on a sour note.
Whose pride got in the way? Yours or his? If it was his, he seems to have humbled himself. But if you had a bit of pride in it too ... it may be your turn. I do not really know how to answer your inquiry ... but I do know if you seek the Father in this one, as you say you will be doing this evening, He will answer you in His time. Just go with Him with a surrendered heart ... a heart that truly wants whatever it is the Father has for you.
Right now you state your head is spinning with questions ... which can lead to confusion. Stay before the Father until you have clarity. His answer will not be confusing, He is typically quite direct.  But you will need to quiet your heart before Him, w/out any expectations as to what you hope He will say to you on the manner. Open your bible to the psalms and begin to read through them ... praying them back to God. Let Him use His word to speak to you ...
His word says we are to be anxious of nothing, but in everything, with thanksgiving, present your requests before the Father, and His peace, which transcends all human understanding will guard your heart and mind through Christ Jesus ... and that is what you need to do. Come thankfully before His throne and present your requests at His feet. And allow His peace to cover you ... then just wait on Him. If this is of Him, you do not need to rush for an answer ... whatever time it takes will not stop Him from doing whatever He is doing in your life. Let Him quiet you in His love as you see if He is in this thing or if you are to let it go. Either way, if the Father is in it, you come out ahead.
_____________________________
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: Help, part deux - 11/21/2008 10:35:50 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7808
Joined: 9/5/2006
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I agree with Psalms. Stay in prayer and let God lead you. (Should He give you freedom and desire to respond you can always answer with one word "Forgiven" which closes the matter and puts the ball back in his court.)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Help, part deux - 11/22/2008 1:47:27 AM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1449
Joined: 6/1/2008
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Hi Prairiehiker,
I'd be a hiker- not do anything when there's any fear, where I was scared about something, where I felt I couldn't clearly see the options for the next move of the ascent and feel I had confidently chosen the the best one.
Taking your time on this one is a good idea. Also, don't pour your heart out in any kind of reply. I like the idea of a one word answer. Make the guy really work if he's getting another chance. If he's not, again, just a word or two answer.
Keeping you in prayer.
_____________________________
"Now Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, 'Oh that Thou wouldst bless me indeed, and enlarge my border, and that Thy hand might be with me, and that Thou wouldst keep me from harm, that it might not pain me!' And God granted him what he requested."
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RE: Help, part deux - 11/22/2008 2:05:28 AM
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shemaromans
Posts: 1877
Joined: 3/30/2007
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I agree that you should pray and not rush into anything. At the same time--and you've already acknowledged this point--you owe him an apology, and we already know that God wants us to live and act with that type of humble, loving heart.
You'll know at some point what God wants you to do about all of the other thoughts swimming through your head. Right now, though, you know that reconciliation should take place.
A short response then would need to be just a little bit longer so as to include both an acknowledgement of his apology and an extension of yours.
((((PH))))
_____________________________
“By perseverance the snail reached the ark.”
-- Charles Spurgeon
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RE: Help, part deux - 11/22/2008 4:23:22 AM
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ebony101
Posts: 918
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: the big blue marble
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrairieHiker
All I've wanted was an apology, and his admitting that he made a mistake. I've prayed to God over and over again that I would give us another chance if he apologized.
Since you prayed and aske God for certain things, apparently he has given you what you have prayed for. I guess now it's up to you to follow through with what you said you would do.
But be discrete, don't throw caution to the winds and tumble headlong into anything. Think about what prevented you from having a relationship with this guy in the first place. Does his behaviour show signs that he won't do this again. Is quality X no longer part of his character? I don't know the specifics of the relationship you had with him before, but bear in mind that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, and at this stage whatever habits he has are pretty much ingrained. (e.g. my ex was a hardened liar, at this age, that is not going to change). However if it was circumstances that caused the break-up, maybe you could give a relationship another chance.
However, just because he has asked your forgiveness doesn't mean that he wants a relationship with you. So be clear on that point, before you proceed. And keep on praying and listening (sometimes we pray a whole lot and forget to listen ).
_____________________________
'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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RE: Help, part deux - 11/22/2008 6:53:44 AM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 4321
Joined: 5/2/2005
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I wish I had some profound answer to give you, but if I had the answer, I wouldn't be single!! Oh, the times I've prayed for a phone call and received one! Talk about pressure! "Ok, God, the phone is ringing... what do I do???" The answer was always "pick up the phone and talk".
Like the others have said, continue in prayer. Seek His face, accept His peace, and don't make major decisions until you know from Him how to proceed. You have a relationship with this guy, so it's perfectly fine to tell him how you feel about everything that's happened (or didn't happen) over the past two months. That will open the doors to the two of you talking.
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RE: Help, part deux - 11/22/2008 10:31:51 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 4031
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Thanks to everyone who Pmed and responded. I appreciate all of your inputs. I had a sleepless night. I think for now, I'll sit on it though I'm more inclined to take Shema's suggestion. I need to take this opportunity to correct some wrong that I did on my end. God had convicted me of this very early on and I prayed that if He were to give me an opportunity, I will do the right thing. He is giving me this opportunity, and I shouldn't run away from my promise.
quote:
I'd be a hiker- not do anything when there's any fear, where I was scared about something, where I felt I couldn't clearly see the options for the next move of the ascent and feel I had confidently chosen the the best one.
Absence of fear shouldn't be a prime motivation in doing anything in life but we should always try to rise above our fears to conquer a greater vision. Most climbers/hikers are driven by fear, but they're also driven by joy. At times, they exist side by side. YOu just have to not let one completely dominate you. Fear can save you, but it should paralize you just as joy shouldn't make you blind to the dangers along the way. As it is, I believe that I'm single because I've been driven by fear most of my life, and this is an opportunity to rise above it.
I am praying though I do know what God's will is in the immediate matter. I'm praying for courage and wisdom. For proper timing. For the right words to say. LOng term vision? I don't know. That's something that God will reveal along the way.
_____________________________
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me, and
Lead me in the way everlasting Psalm 139:22-24
-------------------------------------
Go Steelers!!!
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